| Thursday, May 26th, 2005 |
| 12:31 pm |
music to calm me
Disney's Hercules Soundtrack -- I Wont Say I'm In Love (Meg) If theres a prize for rotten judgement I guess I've already won that No man is worth the aggravation Thats ancient history, been there done that (Muses) Who'd you think you're kidding He's the earth and heaven to you You try to keep it hidden Honey we can see right through you Girl cant concieve it We know how you're feeling And who you're thinking of (Meg) Oh, no chance no way, i wont say it no no (Muses) You swoon, you sigh why deny it uh oh (Meg) Its still cliche I wont say I'm in Love (Meg) I thought my heart had learned it's lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is saying get a grip girl Unless you're dying to cry your heart out (Muses) You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby we're not buying Hon we saw you hit the ceiling Face it like a grown up Where you're gonna hold up that you go got Got it BAD (Meg) Oh, no chance no way, i wont say it no no (Muses) Give up Give in Check the grin you're in love (Meg) The scene wont play, i wont say it (Muses) You're doing flips, read our lips you're in love (Meg) You're way off bass, i wont say it Get off my case, i wont say it (Muses) Girl, dont be proud Its okay you're in love (Meg) At least out loud... I wont say I'm in......love Ok so i am a freak but this song is calming me so you have to see it on my post hehe. Current Mood:  thoughtful |
| 11:29 am |
I HATE LIL BITCHES!!!!
My brother recently was engaged. She suddenly up and ran. She claimed that he forced her to have sex with him 5 times. Had her imprisioned at my parent's house. And he wouldn't let her eat. And wouldn't take her to the DR. because she was pregnant. She won a restraining order on Josh. Even after all of the hard work my mom and myself put into statements refuting the whole thing. I hate Idaho and it needs to go suck a nut. And if she ever runs across this I hope she rots in hell and she knows she is going there. Damn lil girls. She is pregers with my brother's kid so I hope he can still get custody or visitation. I am ranting and raving. Sorry but I am upset that any state would put a restraining order on someone when there is proof that the lil girl is lying. Current Mood:  etreemly |
| Friday, December 3rd, 2004 |
| 3:19 am |
New ideas
Ok. Here is a concept for dragonmage. Freaking post already. Monty? Monty?! Wake up. I have some medicine cards. I want you to take a look at them. And I have some ideas. Please contact me. I swear you don't like me anymore. Current Mood: pissed off |
| Monday, October 4th, 2004 |
| 12:23 am |
Just to catch people up
I am now working part time in a bar. yes i know. I am not 21 yet and hence forth I am practically stuck in the kitchen unless i go outside to smoke. I like my job. but my feet hurt at the end of the night cause i need to wear flat soled shoes. friday night our tips got split three ways and i got $9 in tips. sat night i got $2 in tips and tonight i got ten. but my loving fiance gave my friend and i a $5 tip. of course it equaled out to roughly about $2.50. any hoo. just thought i would let you all know what i am up to. things are going ok for me. hehehe YEAH i have tomarrow off. i don't have to babysit tomarrow. Current Mood:  tired |
| Monday, September 13th, 2004 |
| 8:29 am |
Dealing with loss
Those of you who know me know I have a hard time accepting things. Well here is a big shock to my system. Last Sunday in the early hours of the morning my sixth grade P.E. teacher was found in the middle school hallway stabbed to death. He was a great man. One of the best teachers for my school to ever have. He never looked down his nose at his students and always tried to see the person that each student could become. In sixth grade we went to camp wooten. My camp counselor got sick. So the teacher in question came up and asked where our counselor was and we told him the nurses cabin. He hopped into line behind me the last person. All the while making fun of the other teachers who had to wait for the last student to get their lunch. He mocked them while he ate. He made us call him Jess instead of Mr. Mars. He helped us find the skit for campfire and our cabin song. I know the skit but the song escapes me. I fell I shouldn't have had to go to this man's memorial so soon. He was taken from his wife and three sons. Thousands of people showed up for his memorial here in my little town. It really hasn't sank completely in that he is gone. It seems like he should come walking back into our lives and say "I'm still alive." But he's gone. The two people who killed him at 14 and 16 years old. The 14 year old is the one who stabbed him. He did it for a gang initiation. Isn't that lame. Just because he took a man's life he gets elevated in a gang. I saw the two kids at a pay phone at one of the gas stations that I use. I came home and told my mom about them and said "Mom I think I saw the people the killed Mr. Mars." She told me that I couldn't say such things. That I can't go accusing people that look suspisious. I looked at her and shook my head and said "No mom it's like evil was radiating off of them." I didn't find out until thursday night that my suspisions were true. I just hope they don't let these murderes out anytime soon. I don't think they should be free to run around and have the chance to kill someone else's father,husband,brother,teacher,mentor,ec t... I hope the facts will sink in. I just hope not in a flood though. I am accepting it. And in accepting it I am a little depressed and very sad. I talked to some old teachers. A few of them gave me hugs. One in particular use to call me Becka,REbecka rolling the re, Becky from sunny brooke farm,reba,reba from sunny brooke farm. A lot of teachers sorta remeber me. But not really. I hope against hope the next time we are all reunited its not for bad things happening. Current Mood:  depressedCurrent Music: Angels among us (can't remember the singers name) |
| Friday, August 27th, 2004 |
| 12:12 pm |
Thoughts of the Past
I ran into my friend April and she told me that one of my old friend/ex bf is now married and has a kid. She told me that my ex best friend was due now three days ago to have her baby. This girl and one of my boyfriends had sort of a fling. I have just let that past go but I hate him on sight. I miss my friend though. I am torn between saying hey lets start over and just apologizing. I wonder if i can make right my wrong of just tearing into her. Should I? Current Mood: pensive |
| Wednesday, August 25th, 2004 |
| 12:23 am |
life
well the last two weeks i have battled a uti. now i can have caffine again. i did a bad thing. i told adam that the canadian woman in the 100 meter hurtle was going to fall right before the race. she did... he accused me of seeing it before. but no her number was 1313 and i got really bad vibes. poor woman. anyhoo. i am in a lkh based rpg and its moving incredibly slow. Current Mood:  shocked |
| Thursday, August 5th, 2004 |
| 11:42 pm |
Another round of kick my ass thanks
Hey sorry it's been a while. It's been sorta busy around here. The last few days I have been ill. I just happened to notice something amis and went to the doc. to find out whats wrong. When gods was passing out sickness I must have thought he was passing something fun out cause apparently I asked for seconds on a UTI. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! so anyways. here i am and just scratching the surface of barely tired. man what a load of bull shit. oh for those who wonder I am still with adam and yes we are getting married.....when we have the money. Current Mood: uncomfortable |
| Tuesday, June 8th, 2004 |
| 8:28 pm |
Concious living expo
I went to the Conscious living expo in spokane. Man it was great. I went and saw a man and woman who were like "John Edwards" but not exactly as good. They freaked me out. My mom and I went into the exhibitor room where they had tons of different things from clothes to aura pictures to psychics,past life regressors. I myself got a reading. I found out that I myself am psychic. No more saying "I think I may be a little psychic I am totally psychic. And I found out why I fear I will be kidnapped and got the fear taken care of. I found out about several of my past lives. When I am getting married and when I am going to have kids. Awsome huh. My mom and I took this trip and stayed with some of her co workers. We all pitched in for a hotel room. It was fun we had the most fun the night we got there. It kinda sucked though because my mom didn't tell me to bring a bathing suit and also that there wasn't anything but beer,gin,tequila and wine. Oh well. The last night we were there we did a reading on ourselves with angel,animal and god cards. And then later we did a ritual where we picked an animal card and from that point on when we need guidance we are suppose to call on our animal to help us. I got a skunk. I laughingly joke that i get to call on pepe la pu. anyhoo ta ta for now. Current Mood: happy |
| Saturday, May 8th, 2004 |
| 4:05 am |
hmmm
Well it's been a long day. I got home from work earlier in the day around 7:30-8:00pm then i had to leave to babysit for my brother bill. Monty keep an ear out for some gossip about me. Someone is talking crap. It's 4:06am. Adam went out for a drive and hasn't come back yet. I just got home from my brother's house not that long ago. well maybe close to two hours ago. Anyhoo. MONTY?! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON NNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYY YYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Where are you? You drop off the face of the earth? Hmmm... Yes realationships aren't happily ever after. It takes a lot of effort and patients to be in love and keep the realtionship going. not married yet by the way. *Sigh* So tired.....must....go........to.....bed. Current Mood: sleepy |
| Thursday, April 1st, 2004 |
| 9:40 pm |
sad day in hickville
WEll today I went for moral support for my friends. Recently a kid that was a year younger than me got into a car crash and passed away. I went to school with his bro and I saw this guy around the school at times. I went with my friend that is my age first she drove and she talked to some people and got a quick glance at the kid. Then I went back with her to her house and picked up her sister and took her to the viewing. It's sad to know that his life was taken from a accident because he was under the influence of alcohol. I saw his family and friends and thought hmmmm that if my bro doesn't change his ways my family willl most likely be in the same place this kid's family is in. i pray that he stops his reckless behavior. If he doesn't kill himself he may end up killing someone else. Current Mood: sad |
| Friday, March 26th, 2004 |
| 10:34 am |
Shit
Well today I was running late for work. I have been babysitting the past few months. But this morning the woman broke it to me that she has to put the kids into daycare or she looses her spot for day care. So I guess its a job huntin I go. My friend TK and I both were sitting around on our butts one day and got bored and we think god made us fat because of fat jokes we have made. For every joke about fat people god adds five pounds.lol. I must have made enough to make me as big as i am. lol. Well I updated my journal happy monty. Oh yeah one more thing. I am gonna be moving to my fiance's parents place. We have a bedroom and a livingroom. and it also has dsl so you people might be seeing more of me in the future. anyhoo. I best get goin. I'll update later. oh and after we get pictures of our new place i will post them here probably. Current Mood: numb |
| Thursday, January 8th, 2004 |
| 9:24 am |
People are so forgetful.
WEll let's see here. My three siblings forgot my brithday. Well one didn't he got me a present early but didn't say happy birthday. my friends forgot. My grandma forgot until i called her last night to tell her of my b-day party. i talked my brother bill last night he didn't even realize my birthday had passed. My brother jamie was here on my birthday. he didn't say anything. Tk and ron remembered. my mom and dad remembered too. Adam (my fiancee) made me a cake from scratch yesterday. It was dark chocolate with strawberry filling and cream cheese frosting. it was good. my mom and fiancee and brother got me some gifts. Mom bought me luigi's mansion, adam bought me the third season of buffy. One more season and i have all of the ones that are out. In march the 6th season comes out. I also got Enough. My mother and I are fans of JLo movies. So my brother started my collection that and a pack of lighters was my gifts from Josh. I had to send my stero (christmas present last year) to the company that made it and got a 107.99 check from it.I also have another check coming from babysitting. I figure i will put some of it away. so i can get my check card. I will put enough away so that i can get my check card. My wedding is postponed until spring time. probably after my dad's neck surgery. He just got his back done and is doing wonderful. Well I have rambled enough for one day. Oh yeah I almost forgot. I bought one sailor moon dvd and with my rewards from buying outlaw star for adam for x-mas i got enough money to pretty much get another sailor moon dvd free. hehe 5 more and i will have the pegasus collection. Current Mood:  bouncy |
| Sunday, November 16th, 2003 |
| 12:28 am |
Missing Piece
Five years ago my grandpa died. On November 15 th. I miss him a lot. For a while I used to think he is playing a prank and will be back from a fishing trip. Not true. I miss him most on the anniversery. I am going to be married in spring and wonder what he might have thought about my fiancee. I wonder what he would think of all my choices. Probably would get after me for smoking. Days like these makes me wonder how he is or if he is happy. Today while watching my second season of Buffy and wokring on some embroidery I saw a black widow. It just about came down on my mom. Scared the crap out of me. My brother never has to deal with his ex ever again. She claims she lost the baby like sunday or sometime this past week. But I think she lost it when she went to the emergency room when they first split up. I am truely sorry about the baby and hope that it is with my grandpa or someone who loves it. I hope everything will turn out ok. Well I best go to bed. I was surfing for more things to embroider. I am almost done with my christmas presents. I hope everyone has a good week. Current Mood: sad |
| Friday, October 10th, 2003 |
| 9:48 pm |
Sorry
You might think I dropped off the face of the earth. Sorry. Just planning my wedding and remodeling over at my fiancee's parent's house so that we can move there till we get out own home. I will try to scan our wedding pics. I recently bleached my hair out and jeez its messed up. Top part is like yellow and the bottom is orange,black (some parts weren't covered well) red and yellow. I dyed my hair black and regret doing that. anywho this concludes my post. Current Mood: happy |
| Friday, May 9th, 2003 |
| 10:21 am |
sorry guys
I have not been posting a lot lately. Well The buzz is. Adam and I just adopted a 2 year old female cat. Her name was Bell be we are calling her Tiga. She slept in my room with both of us. She did ok till about 3 am when she tried rubbing her butt on me. Adam and I have been talking about wedding plans. So far what we have is the wedding will be sometime in september. wow me getting married hard to believe huh? I love Adam with all my heart. I am looking for a job and applied in a couple of places. I haven't heard anything yet. Current Mood: happy |
| Sunday, April 13th, 2003 |
| 1:27 am |
Happy and in love
I am incredibly happy with my new guy. Wow. I never thought I would meet a guy that would treat me with respect and concerned when I dont feel well. I had a head ache earlier today. Yeah that was fun. I also have been having problems with muscles by my neck. Let's just hope I don't have anymore problems. I am not dating a guy that lives so far away anymore. This guy lives in my town. I'm def. in love. I am pretty sure he feels the same way. I just finally updated my journal. Current Mood:  loved |
| Monday, March 31st, 2003 |
| 12:36 pm |
Fear
I fear for a few of my friends. I am not sure who all are in services or at the front line. I know for sure three people two in the army reserves. One in either the navy or Marines. There is one more and he was said to be enlisting in the Marines. I know there are others. I pray they come home safe. Current Mood: worried |
| Tuesday, March 11th, 2003 |
| 10:29 pm |
Things got worse
I backed my mom's car into some guy's truck's bumper. Tottally dented the back end of my mom's car. I didn't know the extend of the damage to the guy's truck. I am gonna go work for my grandma tomarrow. pay my dad the $20 i owe him. Then keepy apying him till I have paid for a new tail light cover. Current Mood:  distressed |
| 5:58 pm |
Mind in chaos
I sorta went loopy last night. I must apologise to my friend. He was only trying to help and I just spouted my negative thoughts. Watching Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea made me feel a bit better. But, I wish there was a Gilbert Blythe in my life. Oh well we can't have it all can we? My mom said I am dramatic like Anne Shirley. I miss my auburn hair. My hair will grow out and my normal hair color will be there again. WEll gotta go. Taking enough back to the video store. Current Mood:  optimistic |
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